Kevin McEvenue Toronto Canada, Focusing Coordinator since 1989
The Resource Page addresses the issue of where am I with Wholebody Focusing now? My own history of how Wholebody Focusing has progressed in my life has been well documented in my website, wholebodyfocusing.com as well as my little book called Dancing the Path of the Mystic and other Folio articles Published on that website.
The recurring theme in my life could be described as “A Man in Search of Himself” which for me implies a search for Connection, something that felt missing in my life from the beginning. The two seemed to go together for me: A man in search of himself and the need for connection as the route towards discover of who I am, where I belong and perhaps the meaning of life itself.
The introduction to Heartfelt Connection and conversation was a major transition in my life that occurred, totally and unexpectedly six years ago. I recall the moment as though it was yesterday, it was that clear and it turned my life upside down in that moment. My consciousness, my perception, my expectation of life changed completely. I must have been ready for it. That sense of Me Here, the solid foundation developed in the basics of Wholebody Focusing was preparing to take me to the next step in life. And perhaps even more importantly to what gets in the way of it.
It took me back to that primary belief/fear that life is all out there and not in me. Without that sense of connection I don’t exist. I need you to feel me. It is that belief that says “I need connection with you to find me!”
It was a whole body shift that came that August morning and it felt total and complete although the complexity of its meaning were to be revealed over time. The sense of expectation changed from one of wanting and not getting to a new voice that says “in the wanting is the having!” But my fearful search for connection blocks my awareness of that.
This shift in belief, the unblocking of what gets in the way of it changed my expectation of what connection and hence relationship can be for me. I call it “Heartfelt Connection”. At the same time, on the same day, I had a totally unexpected ‘in the world’ encounter with the essence of this change to support it. It was an opportunity to experience that some relationships by their very nature give me a sense of more me rather than less me. These relationships leave me with a feeling of being loved in my heart and spaciousness in my soul that naturally makes room for you. It is that simple and that profound. This is the essence of Heartfelt Connection. It addresses that early life pattern that believes that life is out there and not in me. Now I feel I am alive from inside. I feel loved. It is just there. There is space in me for you, just the way you are.
Everything shifted in my life, I began to let go of this search for me. I let go of the fear that I am all alone. I can be alone at times but not abandoned, just forgotten, and that feels very different. I gradually began to realize that there is a WE here that enabled me to feel loved, appreciated and supported and it feels mutual. Again, this is what heartfelt connection is all about. And the truth of this has been affirmed by many of us who have explored this Wholebody way of being and connecting.
The next step seems to flow naturally from that growing sense of We Here. An opportunity to revise and update those early life patterns no longer needed because there is something more here now that wasn’t there before. It is that Presence of a WE that enables me to see those dysfunctional early life patterns in a way that can enable it to heal itself.
In my own story it is that sense of We Here that has enabled me to face my greatest fear and I didn’t even know what that was until I felt more on solid ground. My fear was that this Higher Wisdom would take me over and annihilate me. Naturally I resisted the threat of annihilations until I began to realize that death doesn’t always have to be the death of the self, just the opposite. That fear of death was the confusion that held my greatest fear. Having the courage to face this kind of death means a sense of more me, a sense of me that is more alive than ever before! For want of better words I want to call this Alchemy in action.
It is from these Heartfelt Companionships that I found I could face my greatest fear, the fear of life itself, the fear of God as I know it, and how to meet that relationship straight on fearlessly. I am beginning to trust that this Inner Wisdom, by its essential nature, is to take care of me, and to find ways to allow me to find Me. Some of you will know this experience as Caring Presence. I am only beginning to realize the possibilities of this way of being; feeling held by that part of me that is larger than me. Although it feels very new it has always been there, manifesting in many different ways in my life and relationships which I am now experiencing freshly. Heartfelt Connection gives me a structure I need to awaken to its full consciousness to enable me to say yes! This is what I want, this is the wanting that I have been looking for and it is me! The missing pieces have all found their place again. Humpty Dumpty is alive and well!
Kevin McEvenue Toronto, Canada, Focusing Coordinator since 1998
I Graduated from University of Toronto in Philosophy and Fine Art in 1962
My first career was Investment Banking and Portfolio Management, retired in 1974
Certified as a Teacher of the Alexander Technique, London England, in 1979
Certified as a Focusing Trainer in 1989 and as a Coordinator in 1998.
My professional practice evolved combining The Alexander Technique and Focusing, now emerged as Wholebody focusing as my specialty in this community. I like to describe Wholebody focusing as a natural process that invites the power of consciousness to awaken the Inner Wisdom of the living body, a knowing that is at the heart of every one of us. Beneath our conditioned and stressful patterns that are all too familiar to us, lies an inner wellspring of intelligence and vitality that knows how to unwind our stress and traumas and move forward our life situations. Wholebody focusing offers us the resources we need to reconnect with this Body Wisdom, in order to reboot our particular life stoppages and to open us up to the fullness of ourselves.
The willingness to combine Alexander and Focusing brought something new in me, a gift of knowing that came directly out of my experience of being hold both in my consciousness. What came was a sense of inner directed movement that awakens a direct experience of that Inner Wisdom in action that can move our lives forward in way we could never have imagined on our own. It is this gift I can offer to the Alexander and to the Focusing Community to enhance their own experience of these differing disciplines without a loss to their own integrity.
I like this description of myself because it comes as a direct experience of a person who knows me well, perhaps more than I know myself. “What is most striking about Kevin is how what he teaches comes directly from his own embodied experience, so that what he shares is from an authentic place of bodily knowing. Kevin shows no trace of arrogance or specialness - he loves sharing what he knows with others, and derives great joy in watching others grow and expand upon his own teaching. In addition, he is a very intuitive and compassionate listener, conveying a strength of presence and heartfulness with anyone with whom he interacts.” Glenn Fleisch, PhD. MFT
I would like to invite you to go back to my home page; wholebodyfocusing.com with this attitude fresh in your mind. It is from this place in me that I want to share with you in what I say, what I write and what I offer in these recordings.
Kevin McEvenue February 21, 2015